You want Facebook advice? You’ve come to the right place:1) post lots of political stuff and use extreme punctuation (!!!)
2) diss people who don’t “get” you – otherwise, you’ll be seen as weak.
3) refer to other Facebookers as “Sucka’ FB’s” – that way they know you’re street.
4) once in a while, post a single question into your timeline, like “What?” or “How?” – keeps people guessing.
I’m out of here (!!!)
Filed under Funny
I’m happy to announce today’s been a good day for “Kick.” If my rank continues to improve, I’ll post more screen shots (click to enlarge).
*Update*
During the night, I broke into the 4k range, then dipped back up into the 5k 🙂
Filed under Indie Publishing, Writing Market
The price change is in for Kick, now on sale for .99 cents. Enjoy!
JLM
Filed under Writing Market
Yesterday, I discovered a wonderful place for writers called “Wattpad.” A nice site, you can go there and post excerpts from your writing in a community setting and people can look at it, comment, vote, etc. etc. Pretty cool. I figured I should follow people so I clicked a few people at random with the intent to come back later. Then I got an email saying someone had commented on the first chapter from my book. A nice comment, so naturally I was intrigued and had to go find out more about this wise, intelligent, mysterious person.
This wise person had also commented on someone else, so I went to read that (which is how it works).
If the rest of the writing on Wattpad is anything like this, I’ll be spending a lot of time there:
Filed under Indie Publishing, Writing in general
One of my favorite indie authors–Lindy Moone–has an amazing website for fans. When you go there, be sure to click “Or come on in” to see all the coolness 🙂
Here’s her book (by the way):
Filed under Indie Publishing
I was walking through the parking garage outside Barnes & Noble, straight from six hours spent signing e-readers for my new eBook, “Kick,” when, out of nowhere, three dark figures somersaulted from the shadows, surrounding me.
As one, they drew their swords.
I smiled.
“Ah, cool,” I said. “Ninjas”
“That’s right, scribbler, we are Ninjas,” the head ninja said.
I could tell he was the leader because his outfit looked the coolest, and his mask had an uppercase “B” on it. After the stunning success of my five-day free promo at Amazon.com, through their KDP Select program, Big Publishing had sent these dark assassins to teach me a lesson.
“Hey, there’s a ‘B’ on you,” I said, pointing at him.
“What ‘B’?” the head Ninja said.
“That ‘B,’ on your head,” I said.
The head ninja’s eyes widened in sudden terror and, faster than a speeding Facebook Meme, his sword slashed upward, slicing the ‘B’ in two (twain?), embedding the sword four inches into his skull.
“Master!” one of the other two ninjas shouted, looking between his fallen master and me. “Noooo!”
“Why did you ask him that?” the one on the right shouted. “He is allergic to bees!”
“Well,” I said. “That’s good news then.”
“He’s dead, how can you say that?” the other one said.
I smiled and said, “He’s not allergic anymore.”
“You’ll pay for this, John L. Monk!”
“Yeah, you’ll totally pay–next time!”
Then they started walking away.
“Hey, there’s still two of you, what gives?” I called after them.
“He was our ride, asshole,” one of them said. “Now we gotta take the bus…”
Filed under Funny
I’ve signed up with Bookblast for a .99 cents sale of Kick, this Friday. The sale ends Sunday.
The purpose isn’t to make money, but rather to get the book into the hands of people who will read it and spread the word.
My readers are my marketing department.
Filed under Indie Publishing
If you could return from death in someone else’s body, what would you do with your time? And if your host was a serial killer and you could do anything you wanted before getting kicked out, would you put a stop to his crimes?
In Kick, we catch up with Dan Jenkins fifteen years into his strange afterlife:
…as an enforcer for the Howlers Motorcycle Club, a violent criminal organization in Memphis spilling mayhem into the lives of innocent people.
…as a deranged killer in the desert racking up a body count one young woman at a time.
…as a twenty-something junkie in Florida, part of a three person team of sociopaths terrorizing a beach community.
Dan will handle each “ride” as he always has–by emptying their bank accounts, going to movies and eating out every night, and helping strangers in need. And before he’s kicked out, he’ll stop his ride from hurting anyone else.
For a dead guy, it’s a pretty good gig. Or at least it had been, until someone changed the rules.
Filed under Uncategorized
So, I’m working on polishing up a manuscript, and guess what? My apostrophes were pointing the wrong way for certain kinds of contractions: Shoot ’em, ‘nother one for the road, ‘fraidy pants.
Think of apostrophes as the number 9
Think of a left single quote as a letter 6
So, words that start with an apostrophe should start with the letter 9.
Filed under Grammar/Punctuation
Ever come up with something so amazing you want to knock on your neighbor’s door so they can look at how awesome you are? So I’m sitting here editing something short that’s going to go out to a lot of people and I’m using every trick to find mistakes and typos and I’m not finding any. Then, just before hitting “send,” it hits me: paste it into a text-to-speech translator.
I’m sure someone’s done this before. I’m sure if I google it right now some amazing person’s already said, “Hey, if you’re editing, throw it in a text-to-speech translator.” But I’d never thought to do it before, and maybe you hadn’t either. Guess what? It found a whopper of a mistake.
Woo hoo me!
Filed under Uncategorized
John L. Monk 