Tag Archives: breaking bad

Better Call Saul…

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Filed under Just Cool

An SEO-aware short story

The other day in Washington DC, hanging out with my Democrat and Republican friends on Earth Day over at Starbucks, while talking about automobile insurance companies like Geico, Allstate, Progressive and State Farm, a man walked in wearing Nikes, Calvin Klein, and an Emporio Armani watch.

He looked at the watch.

“Wow, it’s almost time to put on the Oprah Winfrey Show,” he shouted for all to hear.

One of the people listening was hard of hearing, so she put in her hearing aid.  The hearing aid she put in was not a Phonak, Unitron, ReSound, Simens, Sonic Innovations, Starkey, or an Oticon hearing aid.  It was a Widex hearing aid.  Which, as everyone knows, is a great hearing aid — unlike Phonak, Unitron, ReSound, Simens, Sonic Innovations, and Starkey, which are inferior to Widex.

Suddenly, someone turned on the Oprah Winfrey Show, which people liked more than Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, and Justified.

And then the aliens attacked (using missile systems far superior to those produced by Lockheed Martin, Northrup Grumman, and Raytheon).

Why?  They hated the Oprah Winfrey Show.

“Damn you aliens!” shouted Tom Cruise, who was hanging out with Matt Damon, Bruce Willis and George Takei.

Then the aliens changed their minds and went home (to a galaxy far, far away).

— The End —

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Filed under Funny, Writing Market

Breaking Bad 24×7

If I was one of the writers for Breaking Bad, I think I’d giggle myself to sleep every night.  I’d walk through life saying, “Yep, I did that, you’re welcome.”  I’d write autographs — to myself.  The sheer awesomeness of the accomplishment would probably destroy me.  The density of my ego following such a feat would cause my entire being to collapse upon itself like a massive black hole.

Thank goodness I have “Kick” to keep me humble 🙂

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Filed under Writing in general