Due to budgeting constraints and vertical-scaling distributional positioning, I’ve had to nix my plans for an HD-quality, 3D video (with bonus footage) for my book, Kick. It was going to be great. It was going to run on all the major networks in a couple of key spots. When I found out my budget got slashed, I decided to put it on YouTube. When it got slashed again, I decided to just have the word “Kick!” in a JPG file and post links to it at the end of various news stories on the web and then act like, “What’s this weird JPG? Wonder if it’s for that book by John L. Monk…” When the budget got slashed again I figured, whatever, I’ll write what it would have looked like and then post it on WordPress.
Before my WordPress budget gets slashed, here it is:
…weird, glowing mist billows in from the corners of the screen, like smoke from a dragon trapped in a chimney of a house that’s burning in the hottest, smoggiest regions of hell…
…an enormous robotic tarantula crawls in from the distance, pursued by a menacing, green, humanoid monster with huge muscles and purple pants…
…from out of the sky, a muscular, golden-haired barbarian god with a hammer streaks from a portal leading to a strange dimension where ancient legends live and breathe…
…the hulking green monster shoots gamma rays out of its eyes at the tarantula, which leaps through the air onto the barbarian god, who bashes it through the air with his hammer, sending it tumbling end-over-end through the hellish smokey misty glowing light stuff…
…the green monster yells, “Thank you for killing that robot tarantula!”
…the barbarian god yells back, “You’re welcome. You should buy that book Kick!”
…the green monster yells, “I’m reading this other thing right now, but I can after that!”
…the barbarian nods and soars back to that strange dimension from whence he cameth…
…the scene shoots back to the green monster man, but somehow he isn’t there anymore…there’s just this human guy with ripped up clothes…nobody knows why…
…hellish, misty, smokey mist wooshes in from the sides again, covering everything in a fog that burns like an ancient dragon’s smokey breath…
…or does it?!
John L. Monk 